the weather inside me

down and under with the scorpio moon

A couple of thoughts for this Scorpio Moon day.

"I think he knew that, through his own pain, his own suffering, his own anxiety, his own love, and his own journey, he could relate to people in an intimate way. . . . He was one of the most humble men I ever met and one of the men most tormented with anxiety. . . . At the same time he was one of the most confident men I ever met." - Brian Carroll, psychotherapist and former Franciscan priest

Anyone who's taken up the mantle of service to mankind inevitably hit an wall in their work. Perhaps it's mere enthusiasm that drove them to their cause, or perhaps they've had deeper, nobler inspirations for their work. However they're motivated, they sooner or later run into a massive obstruction that challenges everything they believed about their intentions and their purpose.

On one side of this wall is every belief they held about their skills, their competence, their experience and their flaws. On the other side of the wall is everything they don't know about everything. The wall itself is doubt, frustration, anger, incompetence, failure, fear, loss... I could go on. The important point is, the wall feels more like an insurmountable mountain, a Mount Everest of lost causes. 

Despite the Venus-Uranus bingle, many of us feel we're facing an insurmountable Mt. Everest of lost causes today. This is the feeling we can assume when a major planet like Uranus is lingering at the end of the sign Pisces.

Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, the Omega Point of the mandela. In the last degrees of Pisces we can get the feeling of things falling apart, the center can no longer hold. Something must die, must shift, must be cast out before we can start over again. With Uranus there, we can feel a tremendous urge to change. But Uranus energy is not consistent; what it wants one moment may not be what it wants the next. If we're not aware of it's push-pull tendencies and can't get perspective on the dynamic and the larger purpose of Uranus energy, it can feel like a visit to the grocery store with toddler hopped up on a bowl full of Fruit Loops. I want that! No, that! No, no, no! No say that!!!

Exhausting.

But if you can't take yourself home and solve the problem with a teddy bear and a nap, what do you do?

Reading a couple of weeks ago about Father Mychal Judge, I found the quotation above. I kept it; I don't know why. Perhaps for today. Who knows? Father Mychal was the first victim retrieved from the south tower collapse on 9/11, and according to the many stories I've read about him, he was an extraordinary ordinary man by any measurement. But I'll let you judge for yourself.

The quotation, however you think of its subject, suits a Scorpio Moon day like today. Father Mychal taught those who knew him there's a confidence that comes from knowing you have nothing left to lose. We usually learn this lesson from action heroes who, in a desperate leap of self-preservation and/or sacrifice, leap off a tall building or bust through a window and save the damsel in distress. Most of us gave up emulating action heroes long ago, though. And our heroism has long been replaced by doubt and fear. But Father Mychal's legacy suggests an alternative. Lingering here at the end of everything, we can surely find some strength in our doubts and fears.

Scorpio Moon doesn't scale mountains. Scorpio isn't an 'up and over' impulse, it's a 'down and under' strength. Scorpio Moon dives into the hidden stream that lies beneath the mountain of our frustration, and swims the depths of our unconscious fears to emerge on the other side of what we don't know. Scorpio gives us the will to explore what lies beneath the surface of everything.

Scorpio Moon will meet the Pisces Mercury, Sun, Venus and Uranus today and tomorrow --and share thoughts with Pluto in Capricorn, too. It's a co-mingling of emotional waters, running beneath the mountain that is this great shift in eras (Pluto in Capricorn). Some things are absolutely falling apart. What do you need to know about that? What don't you know yet? Where have you come to end of your confidence, creativity, assurance, skill, faith? What is your wall today?

Down and under...

Painting: G. Okoemova

Sculpture: "Hombre en llamas" Jason DeCaires Taylor, underwater sculpture

the story so far...the (long) late february 2010 overview

If you're just joining us, here’s a summary on the current long and mid-term astro scene:

Pluto-Saturn square: it’s still on --the hard realities, the call to courage, the fear, the projecting of shadows-- but Saturn’s moving back into the Virgo degrees, so we’re just getting a second look at relationship “stuff” that popped up since last October. Count it a second chance at important conversations and decisions.

Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius: the end of an era, or as Gawker proclaimed it, “The Fake Decade”. Finally, we're getting it. Chiron’s not done with his work here, but these past few weeks have certainly given me some unusual views into inconvenient “truths”. And talk about a wild dream life. Oy. I need a break.

Jupiter in Pisces: Connections, identifications, and professions with and of encouragement and hope are totally available if you want them. As are big creative possibilities. Can you be the bigger person? Sure you can. (As I type this, I’m listening to Alan Simpson joking it was time to hold hands and jump into the wine-dark sea --of the budget deficit. Poetic water imagery as political threat? Only with Pisces.)

Avoid the paranoid and the generally detached from reality. This is the dark side of Pisces and not a comment on Mr. Simpson. Uranus in Pisces (at the end of the sign, now at 25+ degrees), is pulling punches with those teetering on the edge of the Fear Abyss. A lot people are completely convinced this is the end of the world. No, it's just the end of the world as they know it, a fact that's microcosmically true every day of our lives. Still, we can't ignore the big, big challenges we face as a country. It's just that fear is not gonna get us closer to a sane deficit, safe highways, or decent health care for all.

On a related note: if you’re a Pisces or have personal planets in Pisces, take care with substances this year--right on down to caffeine, MSG, BHT and food coloring. I’m serious.

And finally, Mars, still retrograde in Leo: Mars is really slowing down now, and by the full moon on the 28th will have reached it’s retrograde direct degree. So if you feel some kind of gear grinding or stuckness, that would be Mars. Ditto big case of anticipation. This is all about going backstage and reworking your self image. (My original horoscopes on the retrograde are here and here.) What you're feeling could be a case of stage fright, or could be a case of retrenchment before the big advance come March. Circumstances vary.

If you know where Mars is passing through your chart, just ease up on yourself in that area. Strategize, visualize. Play with any new ideas that popped up with the Neptune/Chiron bingle last week AND the Full Moon in Leo in mid-January. What do you want to do with that new knowledge?

Strangely, if we’re not handling our own nervousness or irritation well, we seem to invite similarly nervous, irritating people into our lives. Not always true, but you could play with that idea and observe other people’s responses to your energy right now.

A note to men, or anyone who cares about a man: I'm not a guy, nor do I play one on TV, so I'm not gonna pretend I know what this feel like for you. My thoughts are based on my own reading, and the thoughts shared by men at other serious astrology forums.

Mars retrograde is especially challenging for men; after all, Mars is THE planet of the male impulse, the anima, the dude in you. Here’s the bottom line: the man in your life (could be you!) may or may not know what Mars retrograde is doing, but it's affecting him nonetheless --rearranging his ego, his self-image, his heart, his leadership instincts, his pride for his pride (or whatever substitutes for his creative output, progeny or no).

Mars retrograde is all backwards and inhibiting, frustrating and often confusing for many men. You could be angry, frustrated, scattered, inconsistent, or distant --really, really distant. Especially now as we approach the incredibly slow stationing direct motion. Imagine trying to save the damsel in distress who's stranded on the opposite side of a molasses pit. And the molasses pit is your expectations about what guys should do, could do, did do --starting with your dad and then every significant male authority figure you've known in your life. Now imagine how difficult this time could be if you never really had a solid male figure who taught you what to do when damsels lie on the other side of molasses pits. McGuyver never had it so bad. This "self" thing won't get fixed with a Leatherman, some chewing gum and three paper clips. Think about that for a moment.

If the man in your life doesn’t know what’s going on, or they’re resistant to introspection, you get a guy who needs to take on the world instead of himself. This might get internalized as heart problems; Leo rules the heart. As Leo practically grinds to a halt, Evan Bayh announced today that he’s lost heart in his work in the Senate and will retire. This is not good for the already straggling Democrat majority in the Senate.

The WORST example of this impulse also showed up in the news today: Andrew Stack, an enraged, suicidal man (badly managed Mars retrograde?) who’s sense of manhood and pride (Leo) was threatened by the limitations (Saturn) imposed by a government (Pluto in Capricorn) agency, the IRS, flew his personal airplane into an IRS office.

No doubt his actions were exacerbated by feelings of paranoia and doom emerging from those who’ve been embracing the end of the world (Uranus in Pisces) scenarios. He's not the first man who's wanted to take on the IRS with violence, but as we're revisiting a Saturn-Pluto alignment that last appeared fall of 2001, I'm saddened but not shocked that Stack chose to mimic the violence of that tragedy by flying his plane into an IRS office in Austin, Texas. Note --this was his own Piper airplane, and thus, he was not one of the huddled masses spewing underclass resentment. This was a wealthy guy by any standard. Do you have Piper small craft docked in your local airport hanger?

On that note, I looked at Glenn Beck’s astrology last week. He’s got Venus at 29+ degrees Pisces, the last degree of the zodiac, aka, the end of the world (sort of). In short, he’s in love with the end of the world. Yes. Have a look at his wiki and you’ll see a guy obsessed with eschatology. We'll hear much more about his obsession come spring. Bank on it.

Sigh. So play safe out there folks. You don’t have to be paranoid. You don’t have to push people around. I know so many people who are experimenting with huge new possibilities for their lives. Really big thoughts. I've got one friend who was making good money as a black-jack dealer, but she's leaving the industry to work at a raw-food retreat. She'd been wanting to walk away, but it wasn't until she broke her wrist in four places over the January eclipse that the decision was forced on her. A break like that is a career ender for a card dealer. But the end didn't start there: as she became mentally and emotionally more stable, her tips took a nose dive and she knew why --unhealthy people only reward their own kind. She's a Cancer rising, so Leo is working through her second house of money and self-esteem.

If you're moving towards healthier self-esteem, know that some people will find this a turn-off and not know why. They would prefer you functioning as their food source for whatever emotional, financial, or practical service you give them. And you're gonna catch some flak for this. For my friend, this translated into lost income. If you're hanging with people who pay you for being as immature, selfish, and needy as they are, you're going to face a loss of something --a contract, a contact? Or you may face losing old friends. These are not easy losses at first because they represent an old image you've probably carried with you for years. But this whole year is forcing all of us to rethink the old ways. Those who refuse to change won't be any fun to hang with anyway. Keep that in mind as you grow and experiment with the new you.

The time is also exciting because it presents the kind of risks that demand truly creative thinking and not a little paradigm shifting/shattering going on in that mix. But the risk doesn’t disappear just because the adventure holds happy possibility. So compassion is very much in need right now, too. Compassion that entends both ways --to you and to those around you-- and patience.

In that spirit, I’m taking a few days off from this blog to address some work at my side. One project is a revamp of this site, another some notes for the upcoming NCGR conference...and then daily ephemera and sticky fingerprints that come with motherhood. I need to shift my focus for a bit. Maybe I'll actually go for a walk. What a thought.

I’ll be back before the Full Moon to talk about the Venus-Uranus conjunction and early March events.

Until then, have a visit with any of the forecasters on my link list. They’re good people who’ll be happy to serve your astro needs.

Ciao.

Art: lisacongdon.com

Photo: seattlepi.com

All other photos: Philippe Halsman

pocket lint, the accounting app for the rest of us

Perfect for teenagers, the recently divorced or laid off, struggling artists and terminal grad school students --Pocket Lint, the Accounting App!

If we're all gonna suffer through 15 years of economic contraction and restructing, let's do it with a sense of humor.

About Pocket Lint

Do a search for Mac finance apps and you’ll find a truckload, all with one major flaw in common: they assume you have money. Pocket Lint makes it easy to calculate just how terrible your current financial situation is, with robust monthly expenditure tracking, easy income reporting (optional), and other powerful features. It even includes a tool to check the current eBay auction value of the Mac you’re running it on, so if things get really bad you can always pawn your computer in a last-ditch effort to make rent.

Pocket Lint website (for the broke and curious)

virgo moon: embrace your inner neurotic

Welcome Virgo Moon. The Virgo Moon has a very bad rap as the ne plus ultra of neurotic cases. Anything in Virgo has this potential, but the Moon gets bonus points because it hits you right in the emotion center.

BUT. While Jupiter is sprinting through Pisces, you get a break. There's heaps of kindness and compassion right across the table from you now. Sweetness and delight. And Pluto in Capricorn is standing by Virgo's side. They're both earth signs; they like to see results from an encounter. It's like a blind date that works out.

SO. Here's my assignment. Each month when the Virgo Moon arrives you must embrace your inner neurotic.

Yes, that's right. Give him a big hug. Buy him some ice cream and tell him you think he's really swell. You know, if it weren't for your I.N. you'd be a far less memorable person and no one would be interested in telling stories about you when you're gone. Your I.N. is the reason you think heaven is boring: what would you have left to obsess about? You might as well enjoy your neurosis while you're still here on earth.

Now. Imagine yourself doing something your I.N. would never, ever admit: accept a compliment without poo-pooing the complimenter, really enjoy a hug, or forgive the 15 pounds you gained last year. Dream about the scariest thing you want right now. Dream that it all works out.

Do it just for a day. No big deal. If you I.N. complains, ruffle his hair, call him a "big galoot" and keep dreaming.

how astrology (nearly) saved my sanity, pt.5: the pluto moon transit mess

No major transit says, "Get thee to a therapist's office!" like the Pluto/Moon transit. Honestly. And if you're having one, I say find a good therapist and be quick about it, man.

Are you having one?

• If your Moon sign in is in the first 10 degrees of Capricorn, Aries, Cancer or Libra, you're having yours or about to have yours --by conjunction, square or opposition. Ditto the first 10 degrees of Taurus or Virgo --by trine.
• If you Moon sign is in the last 10 degrees of Sagittarius, Virgo, Pisces or Gemini, you probably already had one in the last five years --again by conjunction, square or opposition. Ditto the last 10 degrees of Aries, or Leo --also by trine.

That seems like a lot of people having Pluto/Moon transits, but when you consider that Pluto just changed signs for another 15 year cycle, more than the usual number of people have been affected by the Sagittarius to Capricorn sign change-up right now. The next fifteen years will affect cardinal moon signs and the earth sign moons predominately. (see your favorite astrologer to find out if/when you'll get the Pluto visit)

I always look to see what Pluto/Moon transits come up in a person's history, and you'd be surprised at how many people have not yet had one in their lifetime. On the other hand, I know a couple of people who've had 3 or 4 of these things, and you can be sure these folks know a thing or two about the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Seriously.

I've had a couple. The first, back in the mid-'80's, which was a hell on wheels nightmare, mostly because I was still a kid and had no control over my environment or the people in it. The second Pluto/Moon transit came in 2007-8. Yes, these are long transits.

Both totally rearranged my emotional foundations.

Sigh. And speaking of emotional foundations...I think this entry is best finished during the Cancer Moon --which will begin Wednesday. Not being superstitious here, but this Gemmy energy isn't conducive for depth-psych talk. Will expound on other, lighter topics today instead. 

Want to find your Moon sign? This great site will sort it out for you: Serennu.

Come back Wednesday for more Pluto mania.

smart astro commentary on the citizens united v. the federal election commission

Capricorn rules corporations. Please don't forget that. The first international corporation (or joint-stock company) was in fact The East India Trading Company, first incorporated during the reign of Queen Elizabeth on December 31st, 1600  --a Capricorn by birth. The EITC was the very model of a modern major corporation: with the help of its home government (England) it eventually created it's own army, invaded a country (India) and then ruled it for over 20 years. Of course, England's and EITC's interests in India predate the Battle of Plassey by about 200 years, but the event guaranteed "company rule" of an entire continent for whole generation. It's effects, for good and for ill, were long lasting.

Now, just after a significant eclipse in the sign of Capricorn, we have a seismic political shift that undercuts 100 years of judicial precedent and suddenly favors corporations over individuals. But then history shows us that governments and corporations go together like peanut butter and jelly, like Oreo and ice cream, like marmalade and toast. Just not as yummy.

From today's weekly subscription newsletter at Planet Waves, the editorial (bolded text, mine):

Personally, I cannot think of a more significant issue for the Supreme Court to rule on, in our era of unmitigated corporate power. Here, we have one of the first landmarks in the Pluto in Capricorn era, a time when we know that the structure of society will change in many ways.

The court held yesterday that corporations have the free speech rights of people. Yet if anything, corporations are superhumans, subject to no responsibilities of citizenship that would balance freedom on the scale that they typically exercise it.

They do not have a natural lifespan, and can in effect live forever. They cannot be incarcerated, and holding them civilly liable for crimes or abuses of their rights verges on impossible (case in point, Bhopal). Any punishment is meaningless, as most in the position to commit atrocities have so much money that even a heavy a fine comes out of the petty cash fund. They can be as big as the state of Israel (or bigger), have an army and exist on five continents at a time. They have no lawful interest except for profit. They can employ a thousand attorneys. Their shareholders can come from many different countries. Their own power and structure shields the individuals involved from most forms of prosecution; it is rare that corporate officers are held accountable for the crimes committed by their companies.

This is an easy distinction, to see the difference between human rights and corporate rights. While many think there is a precedent for this, the original decision supposedly giving corporations the rights of people was so flawed that the issue is right in Wikipedia where school kids can read about it on their iPhones. That famous case, Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad, never took up the constitutional issue. Many in the legal community are fully aware of this issue, to the extent that there is a law center devoted to dealing with it.

Most people do not understand that ‘corporatism' is the true definition of fascism; that is, the merging corporate interests and entities with the state itself. This is the thing to beware of. What we have just witnessed is an example of the state granting greater rights to the corporations who are its creatures than to the natural sovereign citizens of the land -- in this case, the power to influence elections to high office. In effect, the government has privatized elections and has sold out its own power: a typical move, consistent with the central bank existing as a private entity as well.

I would say that Thursday's decision in Citizens United is an example of unequal protection under the law. Paraphrasing Carl Sagan, those who enjoy extraordinary rights must be held to extraordinary responsibilities. The problem in our moment of civilization is precisely that this alien race of entities thinks it has no responsibilities at all, in any meaningful sense of the concept.

a special january eclipse week note to Capricorns/Capricorn Rising

If you're a Capricorn or Cap rising --be kind to yourself right now. Really.

You so easily dog yourself about what you have/have not done on the road to success (whatever that road is to you), but this week don't indulge that stuff. Instead this is a good week to think hard about liking yourself for the right reasons, and deciding what sort of leadership you truly want to give to the world.

You like being seen doing the "right thing," whether that's promptly sending thank you cards or knowing the company vision statement by heart. You don't see yourself as a complete suck-up to the job because like all cardinal signs, you've got an independent, self-starting streak within you. You prefer to think you decided what the right thing is. It just so happens that your version of "right" has an air of long tradition hanging around it, which might sound to some folks an awful like like "status quo". But is it?

Just because something is time-honored doesn't make it bad, you think. You have no problem with time. I am here to ask you about "honor" though. Specifically, I want to ask you "what's worth honoring?"

Now is the time to rethink what the "right thing" is in your life. If you are more honest with yourself, you'll admit you're too often driven by an authority or voice of authority outside yourself. What is this authority you revere --or fear? Your boss, your friends, your perceived reputation, your family faith? Pick one --or two or three. 

You want an accumulation of worth and you definitely want the esteem of others, but someone else seems to be defining that worth. What are you working towards? 10 million frequent flier points on your credit card? Another company recognition plaque on the office wall? An "appropriate" partner for that next marriage/project/committee? What is it? There's some delectable fruit you're after; I know because every Capricorn is always working toward something.

Working towards something implies we're also working away from something. For many of you that something is a fear that keeps you in constant motion toward your goals. Maybe you had a hard childhood; maybe you once knew poverty; maybe you lost a parent at an early age; maybe you grew up in an emotionally hostile/cold/or enmeshed family. Whatever it is, it's the fear that that monstrous memory coming back to you that pushes you out, away and up into some kind of carefully controlled (and I mean controlled) need for civility and accomplishment combined. No more chaos and crazy people, you vow. (Nope, those folks are getting side-lined quicker these days.) Like Scarlett O'Hara, herself, you vow you'll never go hungry again.

And no more fear of rejection. Ah, the fear of rejection: your very painful achilles ouchy spot. You know exactly what I mean.

Perhaps this is an expression of Capricorn's fishy side: the symbol of the climber is also has a tail of a fish. The fish within you vibes more like Pisces: it's the trembling, sensitive, secretive and (potentially) spiritual side of you. Do you remember the last time you stunned a friend who discovered your secret passion for crop circles? That stash of weed --or your tarot collection? "I had no idea you were into this stuff! I mean, I thought you were so straight." Uh, yeah... Your fishy secret self is also the side of you prone to (self) deceptive illusions. Exhibit A: Tiger Woods, the Capricorn of the hour and control freak extraordinaire. If you want to be an illusionist, take care. All Caps have some weird side, and so do you. Pluto, however, has a way of outing your weirdness. Digging in the basement, so to speak. Some honesty may be necessary if you haven't found some peace between your goat (climber) and fish (dreamer) halves.

With Mercury still in retrograde in your sign of Capricorn, take some time right now to think about who --or what- exactly is driving your ambition. And your fears of ambition. What is your ouchy spot, anyway? Are you self-medicating that spot with shopping and power grabs? Or maybe hitting the hooch a little too hard? Or have you buried your brain between the pages of Harlequin Romances?

This week as we prepare for a solar eclipse in your sign, the Sun, Venus and the North Node are clustered together in Capricorn, too. All are pressing you forward toward a more authentic expression of your leadership potential. Which means, you've got a really good opportunity this week --and I mean a really, really good opportunity-- to tune into what's attracting you to your future. With all these signs in your sign (or rising sign) the attraction signals should be coming from you.

Tune into yourself and listen deeply to your own heart. What is the most noble and life-affirming leadership you can offer? --First, to yourself, and then to others. You've got stuff in there that bears no resemblance to the rat-race, corporate/parental authority kow-towing you've known for most of your life.

Capricorn is the sign of revolutionaries. That's an amazing thought because most everyone has written you off as pretty uptight in these tell-all, happy-clappy Facebooking times. But you know, stuff doesn't change without someone with backbone in charge. Real change requires people who commit to long-term visions. That, Cappy, you've got in spades --long term vision.

So be the one with backbone. Be the one with vision for the long-haul. Just make sure the revolution you're starting is your own heart's fire; don't settle for anything less.

winter solstice 2009

Winter Solstice needs a little revival these days. Perhaps with Pluto in Capricorn these next fifteen years, Winter Solstice will get more respect. I hope so.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a little in love with the holly jolly jingle of Christmas merry making, particularly now that I’ve got a little one around to share the fun. But Winter Solstice is the real deal, particularly here in the Northern Hemisphere. The darkness doesn’t get any deeper than this.

One thing some folks do get right is the tradition of advent. I got a little advent calendar I made myself, but it’s hardly made in the spiritual tradition of preparation for the Christ child. It’s all Ho-ho-ho Santa Christmas. The advent candle tradition passed my house by. If you’ve unfamiliar with advent candles, they function like this: each week for five weeks a new candle is lit in anticipation of the birth of Christ. The candles often have different colors, symbolic of the week’s theme --hope, joy, faith.

Light a candle against the winter light. It’s something many faiths share this time of year, a universally accepted symbol of hope for new beginnings. Wait for the light --the light of spring-- and until then we will share this little flame of hope.

This solstice shares some interesting astrological signatures, and together I see them as conjoined flames of hope. First Mars has just begun its interior journey, rehabbing some part of your ego structure. The Sun will ingress the sign of Capricorn, the symbol of hard work and determination, Venus will sextile Jupiter and Neptune, and finally Jupiter and Neptune will share a single degree in the sign of Aquarius --hope and vision for the people.

This amazingly rich winter stew. Hearty, warm, nourishing. Watching the pictures of snow across Washington D.C. and the east coast, I feel the energy of this astrological stew of goodness. Time to rest awhile. Time to breathe. Time to remember the sweet silence of a single candle lit against the harsh world. Time to our impotence against the unpredictability and power of Nature. Time to recognize our striving and agendas are pointless against 18 inches of snow up against your doorframe. You ain’t goin’ nowhere today, bub. Maybe relax a little.

While you’re relaxing, try this little Winter Solstice ritual: make a list (and check it twice) of what you want to release from your life this year. You’re not making guilt-inducing New Year’s resolutions! This is stuff you’re letting out the door --if you can open the door today. Think of every bad habit, negative mental tape, false “life story” you keep telling yourself. Think of every piece of junk, or pointless tchotchke you’ve hauled from apartment to apartment. Think of the people who drain you more than they support you. Think of the debts and obligations that hinder whatever new purposes and plans are emerging in your life.

List them all. Make a copy of that list. Put one copy of the list in a safe place for next year’s review. Burn the other copy. If you can’t burn anything where you’re at, come up with your own ritual destruction ceremony. Have a good time with this.
Last year I decided I wanted to eliminate half my credit card debt. Today it’s all gone. Didn’t happen the way I wished it would, but it’s gone. That was last year’s list. Gonna work on this year’s list today.

Happy winter solstice.

Photo: "Blackbirds," Erin Wilson.

mercury into capricorn

Mercury moves into Capricorn today, squaring the Aries Point, and will pair up with Pluto on the same degree (2+ Capricorn) December 7th. Thus beginneth the Capricorn season.

We'll have about ten weeks of Capricorn thinking this year: Mercury goes retrograde the day after Christmas (aka Boxing Day) and then resumes its forward path January 15th where it will remain in Capricorn until February 10th. Ten weeks. Whew.

Soon each of the personal planets (Mercury, Venus, the Sun and the Moon) will pass by Sir Pluto, pushing all our dear Cappy friends into new realms of selfhood. We Cappys are such Nervous Nellies and Pluto sitting in our sign for the next fourteen years will no doubt make us or break us, so be kind to our neuroses this holiday season. 

On the other hand, if you get rebuffed by a Cap, don't take it too hard. If they feel anything like me, they are so not into your games these days. Whatever games they are. Doesn't matter. Was having a laugh at myself after I realized Mercury had already moved into Capricorn because today I've noticed the shift in my approach to others right now: if you've got a serious offer or a legitimate/thoughtful plan, we'll talk; otherwise, I've got better things to do --and one of 'em is not you.

I know, hard core.

Still, there's that fishy/mystic interior life that Caps work so hard to hide. But with Mars still in Leo and Mercury now in your own house, any opportunity for self-expression won't go unnoticed these days. In fact, if you're a creative Cappy, I imagine these would be pretty fertile times for you.

So welcome, Mercury.

Sculpture: Max Ernst, "Capricorn" (1964).

veterans' day, usa

Veteran's Day this year is particularly emotional, even for those of us who don't have a loved one in the service. Yesterday as I drove my daughter to a doctor's appointment, I listened to the memorial service for the men and women killed at Fort Hood. On the astrological anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I found myself, again, heavy-hearted over the madness of war. It's a form of melancholy I'm susceptible to, and one that responds well to rituals like memorial services and tunes played on a trumpet in a minor key.

Do I have any illusions that humans will ever abandon violence? No. No illusions there. We could sit through a hundred million memorial services and I still don't think we'd ever abandon that place in each of us that lusts to harm. I'm the sort of person that believes it's in each of us, waiting for the right moment to erupt. This belief doesn't make me paranoid; on the contrary, acknowledging my uglier self is an act of mental health --sort of like keeping one's friends close, but one's enemies closer. Yes, we can be our own worst enemies.

Which brings up a lot of questions about the relationship of Islam to modern psychiatry: how do each reconcile the shadow self to being a "good" person? Are there contradictions in definition, approach, outcomes? I'm very curious because the astrology of the shooting points to a sort of primal scream. Eric pointed this out to me in the Fort Hood shooting discussion thread at Planet Waves: Mars is trine both Pholus AND Hylonome. And Hylonome is a centaur planet and a marker for self-inflicted wounds, and self-imposed grief. Think of the custom of funeral keening and you get an image of Hylonome at work.

This week the Sun and Mercury passes through the last degrees of Scorpio and moves on to touch Pisces in Uranus and the South Node in Cancer in a grand water trine. We experience a lacuna of emotion-laden waters --self-referential, self-absorbed, self-contained. I say "lacuna" because grand trines so easily speak to one another, that this part of us tends to skip over useful information offered elsewhere in our experience. Here, we move from a deeply personal (Sun and Mercury in Scorpio) feeling to an universally compassionate (Uranus in Pisces) feeling, and then on to the backwaters of family history, our homeland, and most profoundly, our past patterns developed from feelings of safety and belonging (South Node in Cancer). 

Or you could be cagey and secretive (Scorpio Sun/Mercury) about possibly paranoid and definitely unpredictable/unlikely/surprising emotions you can't define (Pisces/Uranus), but you're pretty sure they've got something to do with your mom/childhood (South Node in Cancer). And you stew in this (grand water trine).

There's more than one way to float this river.

For Americans who observe Veteran's Day this pattern points to our own feelings of safety as a nation; we were "born" under the sign of Cancer, and for the next 18 months as the South Node passes through the sign of Cancer Americans will think a lot about our past patterns of how we nurtured and protected our own. Appropriately, this seems to have crystalized around two issues --our collective health (the health care legislation) and now, our combat soldiers sent out, ostensibly, to protect our country. (Many of whom do not support this current war but feel pressured to keep silent.)

Fortunately the Saturn-Pluto square is FORCING us to integrate these feelings --somehow, some way-- into a new sense of identity. This is the beginning of a long growth cycle for all of us. Some folks are really working hard at this; others, not so much. Have a care for the folks who resist these changes.  There's something here they don't want to acknowledge, which is the ugly side of themselves. And what we don't like about ourselves, we ascribe to others: "I'm not the problem, you are!" 

You know, it's how wars start.

Peace to all who've lost a loved one to war.

"Snow Angel" by Over the Rhine

(Words and Music: Detweiler)

Once upon a winter
It seems so long ago
My one and only love and I
Fell down upon the snow

And as the dusk was falling
From our gray and goose down sky
We heard the old cathedral bells
Ring out our lullaby

Snow angel, snow angel
Someday I’m gonna fly
This cold and broken heart of mine
Will one day wave goodbye
Goodbye to this cruel wicked world
And all the tears I’ve cried
Snow angel, snow angel
I’ll meet you in the sky

The rumors of a distant war
Called my true love’s name
He packed his leather suitcase
And spoke no word of blame
We walked awhile together
I tried to hide my fear
He told me not to be afraid
And whispered in my ear

Snow angel, snow angel
Someday I’m gonna fly
This cold and broken heart of mine
Will one day wave goodbye
Goodbye to this cruel wicked world
And all the tears I’ve cried
Snow angel, snow angel
I’ll meet you in the sky

They brought my love home from the war
In a cart pulled by white mules
The Christmas bells rang out that day
Oblivious as fools

And as the snow began to fall
I kissed his frozen face
They told me in his woolen coat
His last few words were placed

Snow angel, snow angel
Someday I’m gonna fly
This cold and broken heart of mine
Will one day wave goodbye
Goodbye to this cruel wicked world
And all the tears I’ve cried
Snow angel, snow angel
I’ll meet you in the sky